Cooking is Hard
by Aquile Storm
Summary: Ichigo is just trying to do his homework. But he can't just because of a hungry Rukia, a yelling Kon an empty bag of flour, a whole pot of burnt sauce and an exploding microwave. IchiRuki. Ish XD [Oneshot]


Disclaimer: Don't own Bleach.

**Cooking is Hard**

The Kurosaki household was oddly quiet that Sunday. Yuzu and Karin are out to a camping trip with their dad since yesterday. And the hollows seem to be having a sort of 'hollow holiday' or something since it was quite peaceful today. Ichigo was inside his room doing his Algebra homework, which he had been delaying since last week. Rukia was laying on Ichigo's bed, stomach down, reading -as usual- a manga. Ichigo was ignoring her so that he can complete his perplexing Algebra homework. At times, he knocked his pencil on his desk and cursed his homework and the person who invented it.

The only thing that was making noise was Kon. Complaining about how boring it was at Ichigo's room. Sometimes Kon would climb up to Ichigo's shoulder and yell, "I'm BORED, ICHIGOOOOOOOO!!!!" in his ear. The first two times, Ichigo just simply threw him towards the closed closet and Kon would bounce once or twice on a wall and on the floor and landed with a small _squeak…_ Then, he would scream and yell on and on about Ichigo being mean to him and Kon would kick Ichigo's foot. He ignored him, mostly because he couldn't feel the plushie's kick and he was too preoccupied in finishing his homework. No one cared about Kon; eventually he would stop and went back to the much quieter whining and asking for Rukia's pity. Rukia too, threw him somewhere. It's not like anyone cared where it landed.

The third time Kon yelled in Ichigo's ear, the carrot-top had thought about flushing him down the toilet, but then it would be hard for him to change to a shinigami when Rukia wasn't around. So, he hung Kon on a high hook in the closet before taping his whole body with duct tape. Ichigo concentrated especially on Kon's mouth. He stuck layers upon layers of tape there. He then slammed the door shut.

As Ichigo thought that his homework disturbance was all over, Rukia suddenly said, "Ichigo, I'm hungry."

"So eat, you idiot."

"Yuzu isn't here. No food." She retorted.

"Didn't I taught you to make instant ramen? Go make it. Stop bothering me. Shoo." Ichigo had once told her how to make instant ramen a few months ago. After that day, Rukia ate the instant food a lot. Now she was sick of it.

"Yeurgh. I don't like it anymore. Cook me something, Ichigo."

"No." Ichigo didn't even look away from his homework. He was trying his best to ignore the hungry shinigami. "Case you're blind or something, I'm _doing_ my homework. We have to pass it up tomorrow, remember?"

"Serves you right for not doing it last week," She said. "I WANT TO EAT!"

"Shut up, Rukia. You're almost as annoying as Kon."

"Ichigo…" Her voice was sounded dangerous. "…Cook me something or I will do something to your _oh_-so-precious homework."

"Yeah, like what?"

"I will draw chappys all over it. Using pen."

Suddenly, both of them heard a yell from the closet. The duct tape came off from Kon's mouth. How? I don't know. And now he was screaming his head off for someone to let him down from the hook and out of the closet. The Kurosaki household was not so quiet anymore.

"FINE!" Ichigo threw his arms up. "This place is crawling with annoying people."

0oo0oo0oo

"What are we going to cook?" Rukia asked Ichigo.

"How the hell should I know? You're the one who's hungry." He crossed his arms, obviously not happy.

"Let's make…" She saw a few cookbooks on the table. Rukia chose one entitled _Breakfast and Bakes_. She flipped it open to read it. Some pages were dog-eared. By Yuzu, most probably. She read the names of the food on random-chosen pages.

"Let's make…umm… I don't know! Choose something to make, Ichigo."

"Pancakes?"

"I thought you hated cakes…"

"Pancakes are fine, Rukia. They're not exactly cakes…I think."

"Well! Let's see… Ichigo, take the-" Ichigo grabbed the book from Rukia "Hey!"

"You wanted to cook, you get the ingredients. I'll read it out for you." Ichigo sat on the kitchen counter and said in a commanding voice, He listed out all of the ingredients needed as Rukia ran off to get them.

After Rukia took all the stuff, Ichigo checked the things that she brought to make sure that he wouldn't be poisoned –or at least sick- from her cooking. She took the correct ingredients, fortunately. Rukia kept on doing the things wrong and Ichigo kept on telling herthat she did it wrongly.

And that ticked her off.

She glared at him. She eyed the bag of flour. Rukia took a scoop and threw it to Ichigo. "Oi! Rukia!" He put down the bowl and wiped his face. She took another handful and threw it directly in his face. She burst out laughing. "Ichigo! You look…look…" she didn't finish her sentence as she was caught in another laughing fit.

Seeing her preoccupied, he took two handfuls of the flour and put it all over her head. Rukia's hair was white like Hitsugaya's. "Oi!" She ran to the counter and grabbed the whole bag of flour. She constantly threw flour at Ichigo's face. He sputtered; some of the flour went into his mouth. "Not fair!" He said. Not giving up, Ichigo gathered the flour on the floor and threw it back at Rukia. She squealed and jumped away. The flour that she threw on Ichigo just now had made the floor slippery. Rukia fell with a _thud_. "Rukia, you okay?"

"Ur…Yeah. I guess."

"Mm. I'll get back to mixing the…mixture."

Both heard a stomach grumbled. Rukia was getting hungry. "Eh. Ichigo can I cook an egg while we're at it?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Ichigo…Nee-san." Both turned to the source of the voice. It was Kon. Standing at the doorway.

"Kon!" Rukia and Ichigo said in unison. Putting down the bowl, Ichigo asked, "How'd you got free?"

"An awesome mod soul like me can do anything."

"Except to shut up." He mumbled. "Rukia, I'll go and put him back on the hook. I don't want him to make a mess out of things." This was a silly reason. The kitchen floor was mostly white and powdery. There were some sugar and milk on the floor too caused by Ichigo who was mixing it too roughly. Ichigo realized this, he added, "Or… eat the unprepared mixture."

"I'll cook the eggs, okay?"

"Fine." He walked slowly to Kon so that he would not be surprised and run away. In one swift movement, Ichigo caught the annoying mod soul. "ICHIGOO! WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME! NOO I WANT TO BE WITH NEE-SANN!! NO!! NO!!" Kon struggled but it was no use; Ichigo had a firm hold of him

0oo0oo0oo

Kon's yells were muffled with the duct tape that Ichigo wrapped _around_ Kon's fluff-stuffed head and around his body. Ichigo had just hung Kon on the hook when both heard a big _BOoM! _The tall teen ran downstairs. "Rukia! _What_ did you do?!"

He saw the microwave door was opened halfway; smoke came out from the inside of the microwave. Egg whites and yolk were splattered everywhere. Rukia wasn't anywhere to be seen. "Rukia? Where are you, you baka?!" He started walking around the very untidy kitchen. Yuzu will be furious if she sees _this_.

A blow had hit him on his jaw. "I am not a baka!" Rukia came out from under the table.

Rubbing his painful jaw, he yelled "You idiot! You can't cook eggs in a microwave!"

"Why not?" She said smoothing out her skirt.

_Why not?! She's asking why not?!_ He thought angrily. "Because… because _that_ would happen!" he pointed to the microwave irritably.

"Oh," Rukia said flatly. The raven-haired shinigami placed her pointing finger on her chin, looking at the smoking microwave. "Anyway, I've mixed the pancake mix. Now what? We have to…fry it?" she asked looking at the cookbook.

"Something like that. Just lemme do it. I don't want you to burn the house down. We'll clean this place up later."

"Quick. I'm hungry."

0oo0oo0oo

Ichigo made two pancakes first, to try them. Ichigo tried it first. When he tasted it, Ichigo spit it out into a tissue. "Rukia! How much _salt _did you put?!"

"Like you said, one whole tablespoon." She said innocently.

"I said one _tea_spoon!"

Rukia tilted her head. "You did? Ah, whatever… It can't be that bad. I'll try it." She made the same reaction as Ichigo.

"Bleargh! That is _salty_!! Ichigo let's make a new batch."

"We can't. The flour's all finished."

"But I'm still hungry…."

"Flip another cookbook. There are a few more up there in that cupboard." Ichigo pointed to the cupboard high up. Rukia turned towards the direction that Ichigo pointed. It was _way _up.

Rukia tried stretching and jumping, but those did not work. "Ichigo, come here. Lift me up so that I can get the books there."

"What?!"

"Down." She climbed onto Ichigo's shoulder. He gripped both of her legs to make sure they did not fall. "C'mon, Ichigo. Get up." As the tall teen stood up, he became a bit unsteady, thus wobbled a bit. "Careful! If I get hurt, you will be _dead_."

"Just get the book already!"

"Hold on… strawberry."

"_Don't_ call me that."

"Strawberry…Strawberry….Strawberry's an idiot. Idiot strawberry." Rukia teased.

Ichigo felt like throwing her down on the floor. But he restrained.

She took a beige coloured cookbook, entitled _Around the World Recipes._

She then took another two cookbooks and let go of Ichigo. This made him lose his balance and toppled over. Ichigo fell down -head first- on the floor while Rukia however, due to her experience of being a shinigami, landed nicely.

"Owww…." Ichigo clutched the back of his sore, painful head.

"You know what Ichigo? We should've used the chair."

He groaned.

"I'm going upstairs for a while. Gonna _try_ to finish my homework. Watch the sauce 'kay? Simmer it for 20 minutes."

"Mmm." Rukia asked Ichigo to make her 'sp-ag-hat-tee'. Now, Rukia is stirring the sauce as Ichigo went up the stairs.

0oo0oo0oo

_Finally, I will be finishing this stupid homework… Hope the sauce is okay. Is it fine to trust _Rukia_ with cooking? _

Suddenly Rukia came in. "Hey, Ichigo" Rukia closed the door to Ichigo's room. "The sauce… Is it supposed to be… smoking and…overflowing?"

"What?!" He scrambled off his chair and ran to the kitchen. Like Rukia said, the sauce was smoking and spilling over. _Should've not trusted her to watch the sauce. _Ichigo opened the lid of the pot. Smoke came out and the smell of burnt spaghetti sauce filled the kitchen. "Rukia! What did you do? I told to watch the sauce!"

"I was… reading the cookbooks." She said with a small nervous-like smile.

"You baka!"

After the smoke subdued, Ichigo looked into the pot of what used to be some sauce for spaghetti. Now, it looked like sticky brown-red mess.

"Looks like spaghetti is out of the question now, hmm? But I'm still hungry…"

Ichigo groaned out off frustration… "You know, if hadn't begged for that stupid rabbit plushie a week ago, we would be eating pizza now."

"Chappy isn't stupid!"

"Whatever! I'll get this over with!" He pushed Rukia out of the kitchen. "I'll cook something for you and I'll clean this place! You just sit somewhere and I'll get you when it's ready!"

Rukia stared at Ichigo who was taking a mop, a bucket and a bottle of cleaning liquid. She giggled at the funny sight. Rukia then left Ichigo to clean up while she watched 'The Chappy Show' on the television.

0oo0oo0oo

"Rukia!" He yelled. "Your food's ready!" _Geez, I feel like her slave…_

"It took you long enough…"

"Be happy I actually did something."

She saw the kitchen was clean. Not as clean as how Yuzu would do it, but it was clean all the same. No more egg splattered anywhere, no flour, milk and/or sugar on the floor. The burnt sauce smell was still lingering a bit, but not as much as it was half an hour ago. But the dishes were still not cleaned. On the table she saw two steaming bowls of noodles and two glasses of juice. Feeling hungry, Rukia sat at the table so quick it was like she shunpo-ed over there.

She slurped three times and then slowed down a bit as she suddenly had the hiccups.

Rukia said, "You –hic- cook fast, Ichigo." She took another bite of the delicious noodles. "And it's-hic- tasty too. –Hic- What's is th –hic- this?"

"Instant noodles."

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What did you thought about it? okay? not so okay?

**Please review...**


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